SMS SHAYARI-Santa-Banta-02

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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

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What's Ford?
Santa: Gaari.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaari.

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Santa (reading from book of facts):
"Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?

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Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.;)

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Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan...

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Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

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Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

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Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

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Gabbar: Arey o Sambha
Sambha: Ji Sardar
Gabbar: Kitne Admi the re?
Sambha: Do Sardar
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad ata hai.
Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai
Gabbar: To bich mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha: Bich mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mardo par mera dimag to na khao.

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ek bar santa singh pagal ho jata hai, wo bar-2 kehta rehta hai ke gulel banunga chidi marunga.kuch saal pagal khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho jata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karoge ?
santa: pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karunga, phir mere ladka hoga, ek saal baad main uska janamdin manaunga, janamdin par ussey bahut sare gift milenge. gift mein ek nikker bhi hogi, main uss nikker se elastic nikalunga,gulel banaunga aur chidi marunga.

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